It’s safe to say that people are starting to lose interest in the whole Jersey Shore phenomena. It’s always entertaining, but it can certainly be recorded by DVR and watched over the weekend as Jersey Shore will forever remain quality hangover entertainment.

According to the data on Google Trends, Jersey Shore is really starting to cool off. The data doesn’t lie, and neither do I. I’ll keep this synopsis brief.

The “special episode” that aired on Monday shifted the equilibrium of the week off. Episode 4 started off with the gang picking Snooki up from jail. She realized that she needs to give the boozing a rest after her father told her that he’s “disappointed” in her. Trouble is brewing between Jwoww and her boyfriend / manager Tom. She’s taken an interest in a new gorilla named Roger that she’s always had eyes for.

Deena made a power move and became the first lady of MVP. The guys in the house like Deena as she’s a free spirit and doesn’t judge the behavior of others. Deena spiced the night up by taking a “Ronnie-look-a-like” home from the club. MVP gave Deena and her new beau “Dean” their blessings as they were infatuated with the fact that he looks just like Ronnie.

Dean is introduced to Ronnie and there’s some confusion (for audiences) because Ronnie already knows who Dean is and acknowledged that they have similar appearances. To make things even more bizarre, Dean also has a girlfriend name Sammi.

Deanna and Dean took the action to the hot tub because every guido knows that the hot tub is considered first base when it comes to foreplay. Dean ends up spending the night with Deena and cheats on his girlfriend. Deena gets her rocks off and breaks her two month dry spell with Dean.

Roger and JWoww are really starting to hit it off. Tom is pushing Jwoww right into Roger’s arms and their relationship is starting to blossom. Roger is proving to be an all around “good guy” that really seems to enjoy carnival rides. He’s conscientious and thinks of others by delivering the man meat (his buddies) to Snooki and Deena. Roger considers himself to be “husband material” as he knows that he’s gorilla juice head of JWowws dreams.

Danny, “The Babysitter” has taken the role of “Mr. Belding” (Save By The Bell) as he’s getting manipulated by the gang. Snooki and JWoww went on an impromptu date during working hours and continue to take advantage.

Danny, sheepishly approached the girls and their gorillas and reminded them to get back to work. Danny obviously wants to be part of the gang and is having trouble maintaining an authoritative role at the guido daycare center / t-shirt shop.

JWoww’s boyfriend Tom, took it upon himself to pack up and leave their house on Long Island. Tom showed cruelty to animals, (Micheal Vick style) by leaving JWoww’s dogs to fend for themselves while locked inside the house. JWoww and Snooki head back to Long Island to take care of the situation.

Tom made it clear that “it’s over” by taking the bed, jewelery, business documents, and an external hard drive. The final blow was delivered when Tom withdrew money from JWoww’s PayPal account. Now that’s gangster!

Two new episodes airing in the same week is too much Jersey Shore for most people to handle. This episode was decent, but Jersey Shore is best served in small doses with at least a 7 day refractory period put in place.

Jersey Shore Season 3 – Episode 4 Review is a post from: Nicky Papers

Jersey Shore is starting to pick up steam after the third episode of Season 3 aired. The episode began with Sammi Sweethart getting hormonal and lashing into Ronnie for all the pain he’s allegedly caused her. The ill feelings are based on Ronnie’s behavior from last season in Miami. It’s really time for Sammi to stop bitching and get over it. Her boyfriend is a scumbag, end of story.

The focus quickly shifts away from Ronnie and Sammi (thank god!) and puts a spotlight on Snooki and her drinking habits. The gang is starting to become concerned with Snooki as she’s been unable to lay off the booze since settling into the house. Snooki shovels a baked potato in her mouth, (Medieval Times style) in a drunken episode where housemates take notice.

Snooki proceeds to beg for “Seabiscuit”, which is a clever nickname for Vinny’s horse-sized penis. Should Vinny’s reality TV career come to to a “screeching” halt, he can always go the Dustin Diamond route and put his donkey dick good to use. Take that Lexington Steele…

The Situation turns the heat up by initiating an impromptu threesome with Deena and Snooki. The threesome went awry when Snooki left the room in an bold attempt to take “Seabiscuit” for a ride around the OK corral. Giddy Up! Vinny was turned off by the booze on Snooki’s breath and banished her to neutral quarters.

The Situation’s failed threesome became incredibly awkward as Deena asked how many girls he’s slept with in a poor attempt to create conversation in bed. Mike takes control of the situation by forcing a make-out session to silence the banter and promptly exits the bedroom when a window of opportunity presented itself. A safe haven in the kitchen was found.

Sammi squashed the beef with Snooki at the T-shirt shop before the gang headed to the nightclub Karma. This was a pivotal moment initiated by Sammi that led to amends also being made with Deena. Sammi’s relationship with Jwoww is still in question, but 2 out of 3 isn’t bad.

Upon entering Karma, Jwoww runs into an old friend / gorilla juice head named Roger. The two briefly reconnect before the conversation is cut short as Roger is c-blocked by a zoo creature in a yellow shirt. The hyena is part of a group grenades that also made an appearance last summer in an attempt to blow up the Situation’s spot. History repeats itself as they disclose that Roger has a girlfriend that works at a local tanning salon. Bummer.

The Situation reunites with Paula, a hottie he hooked up with last summer in Seaside Heights. Paula is a serious piece of ass that totally stepped her game up this season. The Situation plays it cool and ends up bringing her home to rekindle the flame. Go get her Sitch!

Jwoww pulled one of the most disgusting moves in the history of reality television when she took a piss behind a vacant bar located in the upstairs of Karma. Jenny relieved herself on the floor because she was in heels and too lazy to find a bathroom. After pulling an R. Kelly in public, she used the bargun to dispense water to wash her hands, dilute the piss on the floor, and mask the smell of public urination. Classy.

The evening at Karma ended abruptly as Pauly D’s Israeli stalker from Season 1 launched a cocktail at his head. Pauly D and Vinny both left the club with girls that were DTF and brought them back to the house.

Danny, “The Boss” makes another cameo on episode three. In this episode, Danny lacked his usual authoritative edge and took the role of “The Babysitter” while operating his guido daycare center / t-shirt operation on the boardwalk.

Snooki arrived violently hungover to work, (wrapped in a blanket) and asked Danny if he’d like to funnel a beer or participate in another “fun activity”. Snooki steals a beer from the refrigerator and makes a beeline to the bathroom with a funnel in hand.

Danny is mildly amused by Snooki’s antics because her behavior is indirectly driving more sales. Why would Danny care about Snooki’s health or well-being if he’s capitalizing on the shock value? Business is business.

By the end of the episode Snooki hit rock bottom by making a spectacle of herself on the beach. Authorities had to apprehend her as she became drunk and disorderly on the boardwalk.

Episode 3 should hopefully set the tone for the rest of Season 3. The only thing this episode lacked was Ronnie’s Xenadrine commercial during the break; “Because keeping it real is what it’s all about.” You tell em’ Ronnie!

Jersey Shore Season 3 – Episode 3 Review is a post from: Nicky Papers

Jersey Shore is becoming more difficult to watch as the show is lacking substance this season. This is not to say that the plot will remain thin, but the first two episodes have dragged along.

Episode 2 picked up right where the last episode left off recapping the fight between Jwoww and Sammi. The physical altercation was broken up by a portly man in a gray shirt that was obviously part of the production team. The Situation sat on the couch and didn’t participate in breaking the fight up, but ultimately remained the voice of reason by sending everyone to bed. Much like the Olive Garden, when you’re living in The Situation’s house, “you’re family”.

Ronnie’s Xenadrine commercials are back for another week! In the latest commercial, Ronnie appears to be flying solo and walking confidently down a red carpet with a backdrop that says “PREMIER” as paparazzi-esque flashes are going off. Why not make Xenadrine the advertiser on the backdrop instead of the word “PREMIER”? Does Xenadrine really believe that viewers are oblivious to noticing this?

In all seriousness, what type of low-budget promotional gigs has this guy got himself into? It’s not like Ronnie has a career or reputation on the line, but it’s become pathetic to watch from an audience perspective. Ronnie once again delivered the famous tag-line “keeping it real is what it’s all about” with conviction, as Billy Mays is rolls in his grave…

Next, the crew went to one of their favorite nightclubs in Seaside Heights, Karma. Early in the evening, Vinny was followed by a stalker (grenade) who failed to reach “stage 5 clinger” status. Vinny eventually went on a “hog hunt” (independently) in search of a girl who’s DTF.

Vinny locked-in on a decent looking chick who was obviously down for whatever. New roommate Deena refrains from c-blocking by shouting obnoxiously – “She’s a blast! She’s like a party in a body, bring here home”. Vinny followed suit and brought the promiscuous female back to the house.

The Situation tried riding Vinny’s wave by suggesting the possibility of double-teaming the chick from the club. This classic move by The Situation was managed well by Vinny as he locked the door to the guest room to shut Mike out. Score!

Deena took “the situation” into her own hands by calling Mike downstairs to hang out. She playfully suggested hooking up with Mike as she was clearly looking for a “party in her mouth”. Mike laughed Deena’s comments off and she proceeded to pleasure herself orally by stuffing her face with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Ronnie and Sammi intentionally missed Sunday dinner which is a sign of disrespect to Italian Americans. Sammi has now become the Angelina of the house as she’s put herself on her own island. Pauly D voiced his opinion upon their arrival as Sammi entered the house holding a large stuffed banana.

Pauly D asked the group, “how do you come in on Sunday with a big banana and expect everything to be peaches?”. It was an honest question that deserved an honest answer.

Danny; “The Boss”, is back for Season 3 complete with the confidence and swagger of The Situation. He’s obviously cashed-in on the Jersey Shore hype as the majority of his inventory is now Jersey Shore themed. Danny comes out of the gate heavy and hard by instructing Deena on her first day of work to “walk around and see what we sell”. His instructions are emphasized by overly-dramatic Italian hand gestures.

Danny looked awkward when wearing the white Rosary Beads in an effort to pull-off The Situation’s signature look. In the next scene, Danny removed the Rosary Beads from his neck in an obvious attempt to maintain his dignity because “keeping it real is what it’s all about”. See below.

The episode winds down with with Deena and Snooki playing a game of kickball on the deck and kicking the ball onto a neighboring roof. Vinny retrieves the ball using an apparatus comprised of beer funnel tubes, a sand shovel, and a badminton racket. Vinny successfully returned the ball to the girls and made his feat comparable to the likes of MacGyver. Impressive!

The gang headed over to the boardwalk to enjoy some quality time together on carnival rides. Overall, this episode was uneventful as nothing exciting happened. MTV will be airing a special episode of Jersey Shore on January 17th 2011 featuring Snooki’s drunken and infamous arrest airing 9:00 PM ET/PT. Stay tuned for updates!

Jersey Shore Season 3 – Episode 2 Review is a post from: Nicky Papers

The contestants on the popular Bravo television series, Millionaire Matchmaker have been stirring quite a buzz this week. It’s become difficult to determine what information is factual and what’s being said in an effort to “close the lid” on this story. Are the contestants really millionaires? Does Patti Stanger have a hidden agenda? Things are about to get real…

David Yontef continues to stir the pot with a response to an article I wrote last week – Millionaire Matchmaker Exposed. Furthermore, he pulled a copy/paste job by placing the exact same response on ScallywagAndVagabond.com earlier that afternoon. And the story sizzles on!

Please read David Yontef’s comments below:

My analysis of Mr. Yontef’s response indicates the following:

1) David’s words are not being “twisted” as there’s footage of him clearly stating information about the show. (i.e. specific contestants who are not millionaires, no screening process, etc.) The video clip is approximately one and a half minutes long, (not 15 seconds!) and can be viewed at GuestOfaGuest.com for verification purposes.

2) Yontef’s words didn’t seem like “speculation” during the interview. David claimed he doesn’t believe that Robin Kassner is a millionaire by “any stretch of the word”. Why comment on something (willingly) if it’s pure speculation? If you don’t have something nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.

3) Blogger’s taking “your words” and blowing them out of proportion? Seriously? If I’m guilty of calling David Yontef out on the blatant inconsistencies between the video interview with Guest of a Guest and his response to my article, so be it.

4) “How can anyone live in NYC who isnt a millionaire – whether it’s from owning their own business – or owning their own little studio in NYC?”

David Yontef should be ashamed of himself for saying that. There are millions of hardworking people living in NYC trying their best to make ends meet. I don’t think David Yontef has any idea how many people he’s just offended with that quote.

Wait, have I taken his words out of context again? Oops!

5) In an effort of fairness, (as David didn’t post a link to his page located at Bravo.com) readers can check out the David Yontef Blog at their leisure. Quoted in that entry Yontef states: “Do I always mean everything that comes out of my mouth? Hell no!” In addition to admitting personal flaws such as being judgmental, superficial, and critical, Yontef should consider adding “delusional” to that list.

Simply stated, I could have let David’s comments go but he opened himself to additional exposure by continuing to make false and inconsistent claims on my blog to cover his ass. I’m confused as to why he’s trying to handle his own damage control when there was really no damage done in the first place?

The story has now entered a confusing phase where one must carefully sift through the intentional distortions created by David Yontef from the hard facts presented in the videos provided by Guest of a Guest.

David Yontef’s comment – “how can people live in NYC and have UNDER $1 million dollars” is shallow, superficial, and should be questioned. In the words of Stephanie Tanner from Full House, “How Rude!”

David Yontef has some soul searching to do…

Millionaire Matchmaker Contestants Fight Back is a post from: Nicky Papers

If you’ve watched the first two seasons of Jersey Shore, it’s pretty hard to turn your back on this television series.

Tuning into this show has now become an obligation as there’s no longer any “situations” that can provide shock value. In an effort to keep viewers interested, a new cast member (Deena) was added to the mix this season. She doesn’t exactly bring the eye candy audiences are looking for, but makes up for her aesthetic shortcomings with promiscuity. All is fair in love and war during gorilla juicehead season. Party’s here!

Notes on Episode 1:

1: What happened to the cars the cast members used to drive? I remember the days when Vinny used to rock the yellow Chevy Cobalt. More importantly, watching the crew arrive bearing luggage and duffel bags is getting old.

2: What’s with everyone pushing BMW’s this season? Did anyone notice that Ronnie didn’t have license plates on the back of the car he was driving when he picked Sammi up in New Jersey?

It’s possible that MTV is utilizing product placement strategies to creatively monetize the content by leveraging “guido fantasy brands” such as BMW. Props to Pauly D for keeping in real in the Cadillac.

3: Ronnie’s commercial for Xenadrine could be the worst product endorsement deal I’ve ever seen. Ronnie was not enthusiastic and appeared to be unsure of himself (hungover?) during the taping of the commercial.

I’m curious why Xenadrine felt that Ronnie was the appropriate spokesman for the brand as he’s often depicted as a “typical juice head”, has issues controlling his temper, and has been known to get physical with both men and women. I’m still wondering where I can get my hands on some Ron Ron Juice? It’s time to get creepy.

4: Deena claimed that she’s been on a “two month dry spell” as she mentions to Snooki that she’s packed a vibrator while kindly offering to let her use it. Sharing vibrators, seriously? This lewd and unsanitary suggestion takes a close second to Angelina leaving dirty tampons on the floor in Miami last season.

5: Deena showed her “na-na” to The Situation for reasons unknown. Next, Deena demanded a cuddle session with The Situation which resulted in a fight ensuing with Sammi Sweetheart. The episode closed with fists flying between Sammi and Jwoww. Hair extensions in all directions!

6: Nothing has changed. Same house, same Scarface picture on the wall, and the same mallard duck phone. (No quacks on this episode)

It usually takes some time for Jersey Shore to start heating up. It’s tough to judge an entire season based on the first episode.

Stay posted on Friday’s for the Jersey Shore recaps!

Jersey Shore Season 3 Premier – Episode 1 Review is a post from: Nicky Papers

Millionaire Matchmaker has remained one of my favorite shows on television for a variety of reasons. What’s most entertaining is that “real life millionaires” expose their quirks and idiosyncrasies on national television. Watching people at their most vulnerable points is still quality entertainment.

Additionally, I can’t get enough of this season’s new office assistant, Andreea. (That girl has got it going on!) As a guy who regularly exercises the Patti Stanger “two drink maximum” (you think?) I found it shocking to realize that there’s a possibility the millionaires featured on the show are not really millionaires at all.

It seems like David Yontef had one too many cocktails before participating in an interview with Guest of a Guest at the Grace Hotel in New York on January 4th 2011. I’m pretty sure that the terms and conditions of his agreement do not give him the right or privilege to share this type of information with the public, even if it’s true. In any event, I’m sure that this will be the start of more people scrutinizing the credentials of the agency.

David Yontef, one of this seasons contestants on Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker stated the following:

1) The “millionaire” verification process is non-existent in terms of providing bank statements. However, the agency requires applicants to fill out general background information. Criminals and murderers need not apply.

2) If you’re portraying yourself as wonderful, fabulous, and wealthy you have a chance of getting on the show even if you’re not a millionaire. If you consider yourself a “socialite”, march on down!

3) David Yontef is a millionaire and obviously wants the world to know. He’s got no problem flexing the money muscles because his bank account is on steroids. Make it rain David, make it rain.

4) Yontef claims that Stacy Kessler, Doug Kepanis, Robin Kassner, and Jason Teich are not millionaires. Yontef also makes further claims that only about half of the contestants on the show are actually millionaires.

What’s most shocking about the claims made by David Yontef is the fact that he’s disclosing this information to the public. I could care less what a contestants net worth is or if they secretly read the NYC Nightlife Blog – “Young, Rich, and Faking It”, it’s still good TV.

While the majority of contestants purport to be “Young, Rich, and Flaunting It”, they’re clearly inept in various capacities with respect to dating and their perceptions of self-worth.

More importantly, it should still be recognized that they’ve sought the help of Patti Stanger in an effort to fight off the painful realities of becoming “Old, Emotionally Broke, and Brutally Honest” – regardless of how much money they really have or claim to have tied-up in real estate.

Now you can run and tell that homeboy!

Millionaire Matchmaker – Fake Millionaires Exposed is a post from: Nicky Papers

I’m not into the whole Flight of the Conchords thing, but this video is great! Flight of the Conchords – “If You’re Into It” features two male singers serenading a cute girl and coercing her to get naked and consider the idea of having group sex. The song starts off innocent, gains momentum, ultimately delivers a “climax” at the end.

I’ve heard about Flight of the Conchords prior to seeing this video, but I was never sold on their humor. This song makes my YouTube favorites list as it always provides a “mid-morning smirk”.

For those who are familiar with the group from HBO, Flight of the Conchords is a Grammy Award winning comedy duo from New Zealand. The duo features Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement using their musical background and comedic personalities to create songs that are melodic, funny, and entertaining.

I’m not an advocate all of their songs; however, “If You’re Into It” had me hooked after the dude with the deep voice made his first appearance.

This chick in the video is pretty cute too. She’s not really my type, but her hipster-looks make me want to grab a White Chocolate Mocha at Starbucks with her and “just talk”. She’s definitely seems like that type of girl, “if she’s into it”.

Flight Of The Conchords is a post from: Nicky Papers

Every so often you come across a YouTube clip that’s destined to become a classic for future generations to enjoy. No matter how many times I’ve watched “Reporter Goes Ghetto” it’s still funny.

America’s Funniest Home Video’s made a bold attempt to acquire quality user submitted footage, but totally missed the mark when they let Bob Saget take creative control of the show. (Suddenly, all cats now have voices?)

Humor in the early 90’s took an even greater beating when Saget’s counterpart Dave Coulier (Joey from Full House) battled for ratings with his show America’s Funniest People. Seriously, thank god for YouTube.

In “Reporter Turns Ghetto”, a seemingly refined black man holding a microphone begins a synopsis of “what really happened at Augusta High School after Chris Wood’s death”. Next, a fly enters his mouth. Surprise!

The reporter spits out the fly, losses his cool, his manners, and his professional image. The reporter boldly states that he’s “dying in this in this country-ass-fucked-up-town.” Now that’s classic in my book!

The camera man gets the giggles as the reporter firmly states that there’s “shit flying in his mouth”, and “pollen”. After the temper tantrum, the poor-fella calmed down while adjusting his suit and pacing in front of the camera to eventually maintain composure.

My condolences to Chris Wood’s family as this news reporter made a mockery of what would have been a serious and informative segment.

Reporter Turns Ghetto is a post from: Nicky Papers

How many funny clips on YouTube go unnoticed? I found a diamond in the rough presented by Subtle Buffalo Productions entitled: “Duel at Moonlight Path”.

A wayward hiker stumbles across a madman with a grudge in the forest. While frolicking and picking up sticks, the protagonist “Breb”, is confronted by an angry man brandishing a large jagged stick. There’s some distance between the two characters where the bully in the forest can’t distinguish the true identity of the innocent hiker.

As the ominous music takes over the scene, the bully is under the impression that the lost hiker is someone named “Jameson”. Jameson apparently screwed him over. The bully further explains that he’s been waiting patiently for this duel to happen practicing with sticks and rocks. The woodsman wants to bash-in Jameson’s skull.

As the hiker asks the bully “who’s Jameson”? hilarity ensues where there’s miscommunication between the characters (they can’t hear one another!) and the hiker politely explains that he’s not” Jameson” – his name is Breb.

They bully has never heard the name “Breb” before and let’s his guard down realizing it’s not Jameson after all. The conversation takes a turn where our protagonist is asked to spell his name for the bully as he thinks Breb is a weird first name. Eventually, the bully laughs at his own error and kindly lets Breb walk down Moonlight Path.

The Verdict: It’s a keeper! It’s great situational humor and the dialogue remains funny and entertaining throughout the clip.

Duel at Moonlight Path is a post from: Nicky Papers

I was first introduced to Gucci Mane’s music in my college days (circa 2005) while strolling past my Nigerian buddies coming off the field from an intramural soccer game.

The gang was horsing around and throwing soccer balls at one another in the parking lot, bumping some tunes, and playing hacky sack. My pal George called me over to enter the hacky sack circle (my jesters are nasty!) while taking a break from class.

As a result of attending the tailgate I became fascinated with the rapper Gucci Mane. After kicking the beans around for a while, the pack of Nigerians went wild breaking into a chorus of Gucci Mane’s 2005 single “So Icy”. I’m usually first up on the new stuff, but this unruly group of Nigerians had me beat!

Gucci Mane is oozing with mic skills, stage presence, business acumen, and raw talent. His iconic Bart Simpson chain has certainly turned some heads.

The Bart Simpson medallion was the the catalyst of a murder where Young Jeezy’s associates, tried seizing the bedazzled necklace off Gucci’s neck at the home of an exotic dancer in Atlanta.

As Gucci head heat on him, he murdered one of the attackers. (Eat my shorts man!) This ordeal started a legal nightmare. In court, Gucci pulled the “self-defense card” and Georgia prosecutors dropped all charges due to lack of evidence. Yeaaaaaaaah!

Gaining popularity on YouTube, Gucci’s single “Freaky Girl” did a fine job adding some flavor from the Rick James 1981 hit “Super Freak”. Additionally, the white chick in the video is a certified dime as I snapped the carrot twice to her!

My all-time favorite Gucci Mane track is “My Kitchen”. Perhaps it’s because I’m an aspiring culinary student or maybe it’s due my confidence and steady hands when operating a triple beam. Either way, Gucci comes off ferocious on that hood anthem.

See below:

My favorite part about Gucci Mane is his ability to perform while being stoned out of his mind during video shoots. If this isn’t entertainment, I don’t know what is. Jesus, his whole posse, including Waka Flocka Flame, has the giggles.

Certainly, I wouldn’t mind riding around with the crew while hot-boxing an H2 during a late night fast-food run. From a marketing perspective they’ve done a great job earning millions of views on YouTube.com for the song “My Kitchen”.

I’m confident Gucci Mane will be strong on iTunes for years to come, while hustling ring tones and signing new talent to his label So Icey Entertainment. The future of Gucci Mane is contingent on his abilities to stay out of jail and focus on his career.

Do you think Gucci Mane has already used his 15 minutes of fame or do you see his career going to higher levels in the future?

Gucci Mane Music is a post from: Nicky Papers