Jersey Shore is starting to pick up steam after the third episode of Season 3 aired. The episode began with Sammi Sweethart getting hormonal and lashing into Ronnie for all the pain he’s allegedly caused her. The ill feelings are based on Ronnie’s behavior from last season in Miami. It’s really time for Sammi to stop bitching and get over it. Her boyfriend is a scumbag, end of story.
The focus quickly shifts away from Ronnie and Sammi (thank god!) and puts a spotlight on Snooki and her drinking habits. The gang is starting to become concerned with Snooki as she’s been unable to lay off the booze since settling into the house. Snooki shovels a baked potato in her mouth, (Medieval Times style) in a drunken episode where housemates take notice.
Snooki proceeds to beg for “Seabiscuit”, which is a clever nickname for Vinny’s horse-sized penis. Should Vinny’s reality TV career come to to a “screeching” halt, he can always go the Dustin Diamond route and put his donkey dick good to use. Take that Lexington Steele…
The Situation turns the heat up by initiating an impromptu threesome with Deena and Snooki. The threesome went awry when Snooki left the room in an bold attempt to take “Seabiscuit” for a ride around the OK corral. Giddy Up! Vinny was turned off by the booze on Snooki’s breath and banished her to neutral quarters.
The Situation’s failed threesome became incredibly awkward as Deena asked how many girls he’s slept with in a poor attempt to create conversation in bed. Mike takes control of the situation by forcing a make-out session to silence the banter and promptly exits the bedroom when a window of opportunity presented itself. A safe haven in the kitchen was found.
Sammi squashed the beef with Snooki at the T-shirt shop before the gang headed to the nightclub Karma. This was a pivotal moment initiated by Sammi that led to amends also being made with Deena. Sammi’s relationship with Jwoww is still in question, but 2 out of 3 isn’t bad.
Upon entering Karma, Jwoww runs into an old friend / gorilla juice head named Roger. The two briefly reconnect before the conversation is cut short as Roger is c-blocked by a zoo creature in a yellow shirt. The hyena is part of a group grenades that also made an appearance last summer in an attempt to blow up the Situation’s spot. History repeats itself as they disclose that Roger has a girlfriend that works at a local tanning salon. Bummer.
The Situation reunites with Paula, a hottie he hooked up with last summer in Seaside Heights. Paula is a serious piece of ass that totally stepped her game up this season. The Situation plays it cool and ends up bringing her home to rekindle the flame. Go get her Sitch!
Jwoww pulled one of the most disgusting moves in the history of reality television when she took a piss behind a vacant bar located in the upstairs of Karma. Jenny relieved herself on the floor because she was in heels and too lazy to find a bathroom. After pulling an R. Kelly in public, she used the bargun to dispense water to wash her hands, dilute the piss on the floor, and mask the smell of public urination. Classy.
The evening at Karma ended abruptly as Pauly D’s Israeli stalker from Season 1 launched a cocktail at his head. Pauly D and Vinny both left the club with girls that were DTF and brought them back to the house.
Danny, “The Boss” makes another cameo on episode three. In this episode, Danny lacked his usual authoritative edge and took the role of “The Babysitter” while operating his guido daycare center / t-shirt operation on the boardwalk.
Snooki arrived violently hungover to work, (wrapped in a blanket) and asked Danny if he’d like to funnel a beer or participate in another “fun activity”. Snooki steals a beer from the refrigerator and makes a beeline to the bathroom with a funnel in hand.
Danny is mildly amused by Snooki’s antics because her behavior is indirectly driving more sales. Why would Danny care about Snooki’s health or well-being if he’s capitalizing on the shock value? Business is business.
By the end of the episode Snooki hit rock bottom by making a spectacle of herself on the beach. Authorities had to apprehend her as she became drunk and disorderly on the boardwalk.
Episode 3 should hopefully set the tone for the rest of Season 3. The only thing this episode lacked was Ronnie’s Xenadrine commercial during the break; “Because keeping it real is what it’s all about.” You tell em’ Ronnie!
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Amazing episode this week. Loved your recap!
See ours here: http://derryx.com/?p=1781
I just followed you on twitter, bud. My twitter is derryX and the guy who writes the review is Xprotege.
Good recap, they cracked me up a lot. Whenever I am down and need a great laugh, this group provides.
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