I’ve always been someone who shits better at home. If I’m at work, a friend’s house, or a public place, I’m always paranoid that somebody is going to disturb me. Is someone going to knock? Will I clog the toilet? Am I going to stink the place up? Like most people, I enjoy going #2 in peace and without interruptions.
A few weeks ago, I was in my cubicle minding my business and casually ripping ass under the desk. That day my farts were particularly obnoxious and could be attributed to the half dozen pints of Blue Point I drank the night before and the egg sandwich I devoured that morning.
I made sure I rode low in my chair to keep the stench under the desk and under my co-worker’s radar. I knew that morning I was going to drop a nice deuce and carry the rest of the day on in comfort.
I made my way to the side bathroom in the front lobby avoiding all employees in my path. It’s a single toilet (no urinal) with a locking door. It’s only used by men so leaving a hot stench behind to trail the hallway is not all that embarrassing.
From the thousands of logs I’ve dropped in my time, this one definitely made the ranks. Easy out, and no trace left behind on paper. Sick deal!
I was just about to finish up, but I decided to give myself an insurance wipe as leaving without a “paper trail” is generally a rare occurrence.
Picture this: I’m standing up and hunched over the bowl, my pants are at my ankles, hairy ass is in plain sight, and the front of my button down dress shirt covering my junk.
You can probably guess what happened next. I see the door knob turn and Rich from accounting is staring at me stooped over wiping my ass with my right hand. The fucker didn’t even bother to knock!
“Oh shit, I’m sorry!” he said, and quickly shut the door. Embarrassed, and standing with my hand in my ass, I wondered how I was going to face a guy I hardly know that works in a different department.
Rich came over to my cube later that morning and broke the ice. He ended up being a good sport admitting his wife enjoys ass-play and it’s nothing to be ashamed about. He broke my balls for a few minutes, but it was all good.
It was partially my fault for not locking the door and Rich was certainly responsible for neglecting to knock. My “anal surprise party” boosted corporate morale as the story circulated through various departments of the company.
It’s too bad Rich is no longer employed at the company. He never said goodbye or left his info. He definitely was one of the good ones. I guess we’ll always have that moment where our eyes met and he saw me crouched down, ass up, and digging like it was 1849.
Moving forward, I’m more careful about defecating when seeking comfort in public.
Tags: avoid, bathroom, bathroom stalls, enjoy, pic, poop, pooping, public bathroom, public toilets, publics, sensitive
