In the Information Technology business you need to keep up with the latest trends. Everyday my inbox is flooded with vendors sending invites to “webinars” or “lunch and learns”. How about a good old fashioned night on the town to mix some business and pleasure? It was my lucky day when I responded to an invitation that made promises of hors’ douvres, cocktails, and a keynote speaker in a popular Manhattan nightspot.
I took the train into the city with high expectations of doing some damage to an open bar, handing out a few business cards, and getting down on some shrimp cocktail. It was much different upon arrival. There was a registration table, a long line of old dudes in wrinkle-free khakis, and the classic “Hello: My Name Is” stickers to be filled out. The line was making me anxious so I popped into the ballroom next door for a quick drink.
I was greeted with a bucket of Coronas while I made my way out to the empty dance floor. During my stroll I noticed an illuminated whiteboard with the name of a major apparel company, headquartered in New York. I just walked into a party which I was about to crash. Sweet! How could I pass up an opportunity to crush somebody else’s open bar, devour their buffet, and listen to their CEO congratulate employees on a “job well-done”?
Somewhere after my 6th Tanqueray / Tonic and the DJ playing Montell Jordan’s – “This Is How We Do It” I was in the zone. I got a few dagger looks from the C-level’s in suits; but I keep it cool with few affirmative head nods and winks back at them. Asking girls “what department are you in?” was my opener. “So yeah, I can pretty much fix all the shit that’s wrong with your computer” was the closer. Who cares if I was prying? Single ladies make noise!
In my travels across the dance floor I bumped into a fine looking Jewish girl named Robin. She invited me back to the bar to grab a fresh round. I was straight up with her about my spying antics and she was mildly turned on! She was intrigued, impressed, but equally intoxicated. My type of chicken.
We ended up going out for sushi and she started yapping about all the details of her job and that she previously worked for small company that “bedazzles” cell phones. The impromptu date was now getting lame. I quickly got the check and put the meal on my AMEX- (double points on dining!) before exchanging phone numbers and goodbyes in front of her 2nd avenue apartment building.
Robin never responded after two calls and a text. More importantly, I still ripped-it at a billion dollar company’s holiday party and pumped a drunken employee for info. Take notes: The art of mixing business with pleasure is best done over open bars, self-serve buffet lines, and on the expense of other people.
